My First Boudoir Experience

Dear beautiful human considering their first boudoir experience,

Deciding to hire a boudoir photographer can be a daunting task. The idea of exposing yourself in front of a stranger can be terrifying. For others simply being vulnerable can bring up feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. I was one of those people who was initially hesitant. I pondered for quite some time, having internal debates about my readiness, attractiveness, and budget.

My hesitancy at its core tied back to one of my deepest fears: not being good enough. As is the case with many individuals, I have struggled with body image issues for most of my life. Being in front of a camera, let alone in lingerie taking sexy boudoir photos, mortified me. But after much deliberation and encouragement from one of my dearest friends, I decided to take the plunge. Though to be honest, my hesitancy remained, and I found myself nervous, anxious, and even doubtful.

Committing to the Task

Once I make a commitment, my personality is to see it through, so I was propelled into action. The first step was finding the right boudoir photographer. My friend and I scoured the internet and social media for hours, looking for the best. We wanted someone who was within the budget that also resonated with us. For me, that meant finding someone that embodied similar values, had an appealing style, and made me feel at ease. Translation:

• understands, supports, and is inclusive of all clients regardless of race, ethnicity, gender identity, age, and body size
• has an admirable approach to body positivity
• alleviates my fears and concerns

Side note: I eliminated every single Indianapolis photographer because of my rather ridiculous fear of running into them in public. Haha. Anyways, after narrowing down our options, we decided on one photographer more than five hours from us! 

Doubting Me

Once I had chosen my boudoir photographer, the anxiety still didn’t disappear. I had moments of doubt and fear leading up to the shoot. Would I look good in the lingerie I had chosen? Could I pose comfortably? What if I’m the exception to all their gorgeous images, and they are not able to capture me well? Oh no, what if I regret this decision? What if I waste my money? Would I get these grotesque photos back and then spiral out of control and never want to be photographed again?!?! Ok, you see where I am going with this. It was a roller coaster in a deep cavern of self-loathing, and I was petrified. 

But here is the thing… I know from my experiences as a wellness coach and manager that my negative self-talk is my worst critic. So, I told negative Brandy to shut the hell up, and it would be awesome. I also used more accurate statements to will the anxiety to a tolerable level. For example… would I look good in the lingerie I had chosen? Yes, the fuck I would! I read blogs and fashion articles about lingerie for larger-bodied women and followed the styling advice! I even tried them on in front of my partner, my sister, and my besties! They helped me narrow down my choices and pick the best ones. So yes, I could do this, and I would look good in the outfits I chose! Phew!

Preparing for the Boudoir Photo Shoot

But, seriously, I was still hesitant. On the day of the shoot, I arrived at the photography studio feeling both nervous and excited. The hair and make-up artist commented on my eyes, and that was an up moment. “I got this!” I told myself. Then she suggested she would use double the fake lashes, and I had a slump in my spirits. “Oh no, I look horrible,” I thought. “It’s so bad, I need double fake lashes!”

She must have sensed the change in me at that moment. She said, “Oh honey, your eyes are so incredibly green, I want to make sure they really pop. You said I have a blank canvas, so let’s be bold!”

And at that comment, I was back at my center. 

Doing the Boudoir Photo Shoot

After hair and makeup, my boudoir photographer and I chatted about the outfits I had brought. We also discussed my expectations for the shoot, and I was able to express the concerns I had… Example: as a diabetic, I wasn’t ready for my glucose monitor to be prominent in my photos. She told me she would be conscious of my concerns, and she put me at ease. Then, she told me the order I would get into the outfits, and I was off to the changing room. 

To say that walking out in my lingerie was nerve-wracking is an understatement. Here I was tiptoeing in the studio, exposed! Like real exposed! But I dove in and made the best of it! As the shoot went on, my nerves started to dissipate. I began to feel more confident and comfortable in front of the camera. My photographer provided positive feedback and encouragement the entire time! This in turn made me feel even more empowered! By the end, I was in a revealing mesh body suit displaying my tatas, tooshie, and lady box. 

Leaving the Boudoir Experience

When the shoot was over, I left the studio feeling elated and proud of myself for facing my fears. But the journey wasn’t over yet, and my anxiety shifted to worrying about how I would look in the final photos. So, I had to wait. For nearly three weeks I waited in anticipation. Finally, the images came, all of them, and I had to narrow down the selection to three print photos.

At first, I didn’t love every single image. Out of the 70+ I received, I loved-loved-loved 25. I liked another 40 or so. And I was upset by a handful that reminded me that I am human and flawed. In fact, in one I remember thinking, “Wow, I look like I’m trying to poop!”

Over time, I continued to peek (and even stare) at my pictures, marveling at how I felt during the shoot. I have learned to appreciate and truly love each and every photo. And honestly, I love looking at my images now! Even the constipated concerned faced ones. Side note: I now own the entire collection!

Reflecting on the Transformation

Looking at these photos today, I’m glad I took the chance and hired a boudoir photographer. It was a challenging and rewarding experience that helped me see myself in a new light. And to be honest, it gave me the nudge I needed to invest in my own boudoir business! Ultimately, I want to make others feel as empowered as I did during my experience! So bring it on.

If you’re considering hiring a boudoir photographer, know that it’s okay to feel anxious and uncertain. Take the time to find the right photographer who will make you feel comfortable and empowered. And remember, the end result is not just a set of photos, but also a newfound sense of self-confidence and self-love. And trust me, you will not regret it. So let’s chat and discuss your session!

-X-O-

P.S. Join me on socials!

Enchanted Moments Boudoir – VIP Women’s Only Facebook Group – A group for those that identify as a woman. Focusing on body positivity, self-acceptance, and women empowerment. Join us to experience your own journey of confidence and self-love, support other women, and build community thru high levels of positivity, encouragement, and the occasional shenanigans.